(This month redefined my understanding of stress and 'hell')
Monday, April 24th, 2006
at 10:34 p.m.
Tomorrow is my last day of University (college). I don't know how I feel about this. On one hand I'm just thanking whatever higher force might be out there that it's almost done (though I still have five intense and horribly difficult, intimidating, daunting final exams), but on the other hand I want to savour the last fracture of this time in my life I have. College is such a significant chapter of one's life, and tomorrow it's over. Tomorrow! I have 3 hours left of my education. If (okay, when) I got to law school, or get my masters, or whatever, it will be icing on the cake, and not the same at all. YIKES, does this mean I'm an adult??
I'm happy with how everything is going though. I think I might get a first (summa cum laude), because I won my Department Award of Excellence (history), which is very exciting--something cool to put on those law school applications (v. important!). Sadly my friend and I were in Brussels because they gave us notice WAY too late, plus they usually hold them on Thursdays, but this time they had it on a Friday. So we missed the nice speeches they give about the person, and our photo ops! Hehe. I do say 'we' because Alyssa (the friend with me), won hers in Psychology. So that was great because we were really happy for each other--and ourselves!
But really, I'm not complaining. We lived a total life of luxury while in Brussels, because I got to profit off of Alyssa's graduation present! Her mom travels a lot for her work, and so she has racked up Hilton 'Honors Points,' which work like frequent flyer miles, and she'd gotten enough to get two free nights anywhere we wanted. We picked Brussels because it was the one place neither of us had been, lol. Yet the Hilton was full, so they referred us to the Conrad, which also takes the points, and this actually worked to our advantage because it was 10x more luxurious than the Hilton. I've never stayed at a hotel this elegant and palatial, and we got upgraded! Our room was €800 per night. . .who would pay that?? I don't know, but we got it for free, muahaha. It was MASSIVE, and gorgeous! Since I've been feeling so claustrophobic in my little single dorm room (aka "The Box"), this spaciousness, and the fact that we each had our own queen-sized beds, was incredibly therapeutic!Check out some of these pics:
This was the hotel, we were the room with the two windows circled in red on the right--keep in mind that it doesn't show a whole section on the right, because the suite was huge! (THANKS to Alyssa's mom!)
This was the entrance. . .
The interior courtyard (though our room looked out onto Avenue Louise, great view!)
This doesn't due justice to the size of our room, because it only shows a fourth: one half of the bedroom & parlor area, and then the foyer and the bathrooms. Basically, it was bliss. Especially the room service that came with our room for FREE because we were there on honor points!!! It was a beautiful thing, as were the robes we wore 90% of the time in the room, lol.
I really needed this because my life has been an unparallel hell. No one can believe what I've had to do, and frankly, nor can I. For three weeks now I've had a significant paper due almost every single day. Three weeks. Significant paper. Ever day. Some days more than one thing. I have one day left of classes, and yet I have three more papers STILL. It's absolute insanity and it's been incredibly anxiety-inducing and depressing, not to mention practically pushing me to the brink of a nervous breakdown. And this whole time, there has been no light at the end of the tunnel,and every small break is just a temporary, superficial aleviation. NO ONE should have to write this much, it's totally psycho. Basically, to sum it up: in papers alone I've had to write 120 pages in three weeks. This is roughly the size of a doctoral dissertation, and yet I have been expected to churn it out day by day by day straight for three weeks, within a narrow narrow time period. At least Ph.D. candidates get a nice chunk of time! This means that for every single paper, I only have one day in which I must do ALL the research AND writing--the day before it's due. There is NO other time for it. It has been so incredibly stressful and a constant bombardment on my psyche that I would literally drop out of school if this went on for one more week. All I want to do is hide from the world and be a hermit for a little while! But aside from those three other papers STILL to do, I don't have anything. . .but why? Oh yes, it's FINALS time! I have five of them, all intensely difficult and scary.
See why I needed this stay at a nice hotel??
ARGH!!!! If I could have any superpower it would be to freeze time, like Evie on Out of This World, one of my fave childhood TV shows. (Did anyone else watch it?). That way, I wouldn't have such a shortage of time for trivial details such as sleeping, walking around, eating. . .Of course, I'd have to stipulate that I can't age during these freezing periods. I don't want to be thirty and look fifty because I've aged in these little moments while everyone else has had no passage of time! . . .I think I'm going crazy. . .
I just can't wait for a week and 3 days from now. I'll be FINISHED! And then summer vacation, thank goodness, a long beautiful summer, and something to which I can look forward: getting my first flat ever in Bloomsbury, with Kelsey, and my job at the British Museum.
I can't even say how fabulous it will be to live in London without the constant stress of school. When I leave work my day is my own, perfect to explore my new neighborhood, with my good friends getting their masters here (Kelsey getting her Art History masters at Sotheby's right across from me at the BM, Katy getting her MBA over in Westminster, Erin, Lissa, Mindy!) I was very disappointed that I couldn't have a life this semester, since it was my last (though I certainly had a spectacular year for traveling--that was the choice I ultimateley made, and have no regrets, especially now that I am indeed returning!), but I have a feeling that next semester could not be a better bang to end up my 3 1/2 years in this city. . .
P.S.
I just ordered my school ring, and it's so pretty! It seems so British and traditional :-)
What song is playing on my iTunes right now: What I'm reading: What I'm Wearing: Back to anecdotal journalism again! - Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
Plan? - Monday, Jun. 19, 2006
FINALLY things are going better!
(This month redefined my understanding of stress and 'hell') - Monday, April 24th, 2006
Just a few more days! - Monday, February 27th, 2006
Another one to chalk up to College Experiences - Sunday, February 12th, 2006